The Rise and Fall of Self Esteem

The Lord Giveth and The Lord don't giveth. What a bitch. Self Esteem. What is it? Why didn't the lord giveth? I am Captain Handsome and all but what the hell is my problem. It is 1am and I am in boxers, sox, and watching re runs. This shit can't be normal. So I decided to take a look. Well turns out, this shit is normal. Look at these pictures. What dorks. Low self esteem, slash dorkness, is a rampand disease hitting the country like warts to Madonna circa 1989. (Teer Shed). Some turn to Dungens and Dragons. Some to Star Trek. Some to trying to act cool (note picture of douche bag with hawaiian shirt), some to frats, and my breed - those that turn to booze. You can hide just about anywhere. I tend to stick out as a short ass drunk fuck. Luckily I am handsome as shit. It saves me. But to all you other dorks out there. Buck up Champ. YOU TOO ARE A WINNER. Be the best treckie, frat nerd, or drunk dork. You can rise to the highest mountain in your little world. That is until someone cool calls you out and makes fun of your gap kids waredrobe. And that cool guy will be me, Captain Handsome. A fellow selfesteemless dork that rose above and now owns his own little world. You should be ashamed.

-This message of confidence is brought to you by booze and cronotons. I'm Back Bitch. "They Callin Me"