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India Says Meow

After the embarassing "Lucky Stiffs" incident (see "Dream Weaver") I am planning a non-gay confirming outing for my close friends. When you are looking to ensure that you aren't gay, and are actually just Handsome, where do you take your friends for drinks to prove your masculinity. Mexican? Burgers? Pizza? No no, kids the coup de ta of dudeness. Indian food. Yeah thats right, Indian. Ever seen an Indian fag? I haven't. And look around any club, it is filled with Indian dudes "Pimping Out" and trying to bone any "hair tunnel"(josh1) with a pulse. Finally, the most influental part of this decision: They wrote and practiced the god damn heterosexual book of books "The Kama Sutra". So tonight I bring the crew out to an Indian restaurant in the East Village that also allows you to bring in your own booze. Does that not sould re-affirming or what. Get shit faced and gobble down some tandoor. Powers loves the Karma. No that is what the dish is called, not what you think. Although Powers could definitely use some of that. No alot of that. I digress. The plan is to drink a 5litre box of wine with dinner. So we'll see how it goes. Box wine, some ladies, Tandoor, and hopefully no transvestites. I can't wait to see how drunk Powers gets tonight, that is my favorite part of the evening. His favorite part of the evening is probably one of 2 things - Watching me make an ass of myself (while looking handsome) or widdling away, tears stream down, and smoking a cigarette at 6am. Either way, thats the story. Oh and as far as the meow part, well I am just a wierd shit, what can I say.
-CH

Josh1: This refers to a Heavy Metal Band name that Pirate Pants Webster came up with. You have to give the devils horns, do a headbanging motion and say it in a quick, low voice: " Hair Tunnel!". He is very proud of his band name. Powers was disgusted.

I went to Spain once. They are polite. That is a huge dunepile for the little terrier huh. I should learn spanish to add to the Handsomenes......Gracias. Yes I like it! Gracias. Gracias! Clean up your dogshit. Gracias 

Pirate Pants was also busy

Can't make this stuff up, 5 minutes after Powers sends his tale of love Pirate Pants Webster too shares his tale of a Handsome Encounter:

Could I get a run down on the weekend. OH DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!! I got hit on by a lesbian, then her woman got pissed at me. She stepped right up in my face to say, "She's going home with me!!!!!!!!!!" I then showed my concern by laughing in turbo dikes face because that shit was funny. My friends told me that it may be a good time to leave at that point. I only with that I had one of you there to witness the drunken reasoning I had in my head.

CH says:
You should have grabbed a nerp before the bull d.... came in and tried to get her woman back. The laughing in the face is a Varsity move. Next time use the "Thunder" to scare her off.

Powers Recaps his weekend

Powers writes:
its funny, my little known ability to be a perverted sleaze seems to come out on halloween. remember those photos from last year? I was doing the same exact thing, except arguably worse. We ended up a ray's pizza, at 4, where I procceded to drunkenly have my arm around a girl I know, often hugging her, as my friends laughed at me. then started, allegedly, staring down her shirt. as my friends continued to laugh, as well as her now, at me. luckily she was a very good sport about it. then, much to everyone's horror, I leaned over to an adjacent table and started eating someone's left over shrimp scampi.
CH:
Captain Handsome is proud of his team! They are learning the ways of handsome very quickly. Keep conquering powers, maybe try oagling a bit more next time, then some brushing up against, then a little pinch or squeeze...........
Sorry.