Hey Gordo: Powers Misses You

Remember the ligher hookup in the room. Me, gordo, scampy, and pirate pants had this great contraption. Gordo said we should attach a bunch rubbberband strings and put alighter on the end and hang it from my ceiling so we would never lose it. What an idea. We did it an had a hanging lighter in my room so we could hit a bowl form anywhere in the room and have a lighter. There was also hada lighter game where we would hit it like teather ball. That was such good times. Trash an 1/8th and sit around hittin the ole lighter. Any how, Scampy Powers wants to say hi....

ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhohhhhhhhhhhhhah name that; rif joe. that was poweres. he is talking about my next post. it is joe hill relevent

Read the new post!: Howard'ed, The Tale of the Urban Iccarus

Unfortunatly it took me so long to post this perfect tale. It posted below, around the time that the week was happening. You will find it just below the ever so important Sparks Review. My man Iccarus just sent Sparks.com the link to our little review of their beverage. Thanks Iccarus! So I encourage you to scroll down and read this nice little tale. Here is a picture of Snakes and Iccarus from the time period. Look at Iccaru's right eye. Wow!

IF YOU ARE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT RAISE YOUR PAW!

Have a great weekend! Keep an eye out for me this weekend (below)

5:08

2 dogs and 3 cats. This is the first live post for the Handsome after a night. 5:08 is the time. Jersey Karl is goin to Chicago today. Boiled a bowl to get chronoresing. It worked. this is a discrase. i am seeing tripple. out. -drnk cpt. handsom. thakns karl

NYC MTA Strike: Greedy Bastards

As many of my NY readers / friends are already painfully aware't, we are 5 hours and 55 minutes away from a possible MTA strike. This means no subways, busses, and total reliance on yellow cabs. Millions of New Yorkers will be stuck with no way to get around this big ass apple. A total nightmare. I might seem a little bit harsh against the people working in the subway's and busses just trying to make more money, retire earlier, and get better benefits. Well, I was sympathetic. Until I learned that these lazy ass bastards make more money than I do already! Yes that is correct, I make less than those lazy ass Pakistani women who sit in the Subway booths talking on their goddamn cell phones. Shit, they probably make more than most of you reading this (i know my readers, you guy's ain't rich). Read the stats below:

• Bus Maintenance $68,152.00 year
• Bus Driver $62,551.00 year
• Train Conductor $53,959.00 year
• Station Booth Attndnt. $50,720.00 year
• Subway Cleaner $45,596.00 year

Can you believe it! These are the "poor" people that just are sooooo under appreciated. I used to feel sorry for them. That's out the window. Now I am gonna make these bastards earn their money. Lets make these bastards earn their money. When I ride the bus, I will take forever getting on then pay in change. Booth Attendants, watch out, cause I am gonna bang on the window till you get off your damn cell and help me. Then I will ask crazy ass questions and curse you out. Maybe even just let the vomit fly infront of your entrance when I am drunk. Cleaners, I will take it a little easier but if that trash can is more than 10 feet away, fuck it. I am gonna bring coffee to the station ever day just to spill it on the platform. So what, I am bitter. I won't always make less than you bastards. I can get a promotion. Enjoy your lives in the rat infested holes that you work in. Kiss my ass MTA. And don't think Uncle Sam doesn't support me!

Handsome's Pimp Food: The Pomegrant

I saw and ate my first pomegrant last weekend. Sounds boring but have you ever seen one of these puppy's. Fucken cool, cool as a cucumber in a hot girl's shopping cart. Anyhow I had never seen one and it blew me away. Of course the setting was just right. Cronotons. "The Gift of the Maggi" told me that they are also called Chinese Apples. Damn Chinese, always having cool stuff. Anyhoo, it looks like a big red boring root/fruit thing. Nothing exciting. Until you open the damn thing up. There are hundreds of little red juicy seeds inside. It looks like what you would expect from some cheap sci-fi movie. Say....Innerspace. It's a great snack when you are all cronotonned up. You pick out these little seed things and eat'em. Shit I was lunchin, straight lunchin my first time. This shit sounds boring but this shit is pimp. You bust one of these out for the ladies and I guarantee they drop trau like and Indian with dysentary. Also the little suckers pop and squirt thier juices everywhere. The shit made me horny as hell. I tell you. Get a pomegrant and start pimpin. I bet if you rub one all over a lady then lick the juices off you will be a happy happy man. Watch out Snakes........